“To compare ourselves to others, is to refuse our own gifts.”
This message came to me the other night when I couldn’t fall asleep and it really got me thinking…
Why is it that we paralyze ourselves with comparisons? Whether we are comparing our present bodies to our old bodies, our abilities to the person standing next to us with none of our life experiences or genetic make-up, or the unattainable world that is social media... we gotta stop doing that shit to ourselves.
Maybe it’s a subconscious defense mechanism… If we coddle ourselves and tell ourselves “no, we can’t” or “ I…(insert excuse or fear here)” before we even try, we are already “controlling” the outcome, which feels safer then diving into a sea of possibilty.... whether it be what we truly desire, the comfort zone we don’t even know we wish to remain in, fear over abundance based thinking, or old stories that keep trying to hold on and sneak in (fuck those fuckers). Either way, doing this leaves so many gaps in opportunity and alignment; it shuts down curiosity and stifles personal power..not to mention it completely bulldozers gratitude for everything that makes you, you. The experiences, the resilience, the growth and healing. And at the end of the day, that’s something to celebrate...good, bad, ugly and everything in between.
There’s so much magick waiting to be discovered within you- you may not even don’t even know what your superpower is yet! But when we leave ourselves using other people to mirror our ego and externalize our shadows, we are in turn refusing our own gifts.
If we can dismantle a timeline of expectation and come to acceptance with unrealistic pressures we can shed ourselve of shit that weighs us down. We can choose gratitude and pleasure over punishment and resentment, and we can truly start to show ourselves love and kindness like we do others; and that is a damn gift within itself.
So what do we do when we catch ourselves checking out someone else in pole class “wishing I had their…”?
Well for one, appreciation is beautiful. We can show it and we can share it AND you can give it to yourself...all in the same breath. But just like any other form of awakening, alignment or healing work...it takes practice. Allow yourself that gentle space. They’re awesome AND you are awesome. She has long ass legs AND you are strong AF. You can freestyle for hours with ease AND she can hang by her pinky toe upside down. Love does not align with scarcity; it is an abundant and bottomless well with endless resources. You are a vessel within its channel. Swim in it often.
What do we do when we are so paralyzed by our have nots, we completely forget about our haves?
Slow it down. Take a minute...honor the sticky feeling. And then ask yourself where this may be coming from.
-Is this an old story?
-Is this fear based thinking?
-Am I coming from a place of scarcity?
-Is my ego playing game?
-Do I need to unpack this a bit more with some professional help?
Slow it down.
Breathe.
Ask yourself where you can draw attention and energy to practice gratitude and love on yourself in that moment. And if you need some sisterhood, you can always count on anyone at the studio (or in your circle) to be your cheerleader and personal hype team. Lean on them often. They’ll remind you of the exact gifts you embody every single day.
Xo Emily Rose