How to move past blame…

My philosophy of Radical Responsibility involves voluntarily embracing 100% responsibility or ownership for each and every circumstance we face in life, day in and day out. 

This has nothing to do with self-blame, nor with heroically taking on a burden of some kind. Rather, it’s a radical act of self-empowerment, choosing to focus our available time and energy where we actually have influence — with ourselves and our choices. We can do this with self-empathy and self-compassion. Radical Responsibility has nothing to do with blame; it’s not about blaming ourselves or others. It’s about realizing that our destiny is not determined by our circumstances, but by our response to those circumstances

STEP 1: RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE ON A DRAMA TRIANGLE

Recognizing that you are on a Drama Triangle is probably the most difficult step of all. Most of the time, we don’t recognize the Drama Triangle for what it is. We become entangled in the story and we blame the situation and our feelings on others and disown our own role in creating or perpetuating the drama.

This is where your mindfulness practice plays a key role. 

Being mindful of your body allows you to recognize the physiological signs of drama. Being mindful of your feelings helps you detect your emotional reactions. Being mindful of mind enables you to recognize the thought patterns that enable drama. By learning to recognize all of these signs, you can release yourself from the grip of projection and blame and simply acknowledge that you’re caught in a Drama Triangle, regardless of who instigated it.